St Jean Pied de Port

Tonight I am in St Jean Pied de Port - literally St John at the foot of the pass - the traditional starting point for the "French Way" or Camino Frances. 

Again, the connections by train from Madrid to Pamplona and by bus from Pamplona to here went off without a hitch. These were my concerns in lead up, so now, I feel like I've arrived and I am ready to start. 

SJPDP is beautiful. It's everything I imagine an historic French village to be with a steep cobblestone street, 18th century houses and hotels built right to the roadway with pots of flowers on open shuttered balconies. 

Pictured here are my first Camino friends Lesley and Lindy from South Australia, and then me with a bad selfie in front of the archway of the old walled town through which all pilgrims walk.  Lesley and Lindy and I celebrated arriving in one piece with lunch and champagne. 

Tonight I went to the pilgrim Mass in the 14th century church which concluded with a blessing for all the pilgrims, which was lovely. 

So now I continue to reflect on the journey of formation which led me to priesthood, and one of the things which always stands out as being of the most help for me is therapy. The seminary was blessed to have a priest, Fr Vince Casey who had gone to Rome to study psychology underpinned by a Catholic anthropology. Seeing Fr Vince for therapy sessions was seen as the norm rather than the exception, because we all have stuff we can work on. In fact it was only the men who were more manifestly odd who didn't take up the opportunity. 

In seminary I drew a lot of strength, rightfully so, from my fairly recent conversion to Christ at age 15. This took place in a charismatic Catholic setting and so joy and enthusiasm were seen as the hallmarks of the Christian life. I didn't need to put these on, these emerged in me as the result of my conversion. But because I saw joy as the ultimate Christian virtue, I suppressed and ignored other emotions like anger or sadness, thinking that these were somehow un-Christian. Therapy with Vince helped me to accept the whole range of emotions as being acceptable (it's we do with them that has moral content). I had wanted to give my whole self to Christ, but I didn't know or have access to my whole self, so the discovery and acceptance of a wider range of emotions and the experiences which shaped them meant that I had more of myself to give to Christ. 

Looking back, this was probably the most important and most formative experience of seminary for me. Many years later while on sabbatical in Chicago I went back to therapy for awhile to work on some unfinished business. I remember saying to the psychologist that I felt so silly and immature to be working on issues which I should have sorted out years ago but he gently told me that maturity is not having everything all worked out and tied in a neat bow (which I would prefer) but in having the courage to address things whenever and wherever they arise.